The Mask of “Fine”

Hey #sisterfriends. I’m talkin to you today.

Specifically,
You.
The one who’s “fine.”

“I’m so glad we can be “fine” together.

And by “fine”…

I mean “un-fine”. It’s what our hearts need to hear, I think.

It’s a thing, you know…

this being un-fine.

It’s is a courageous deep breathe to continue on,
among the hard things,
through the unfair things,
in the in-between messy things,
and amidst all the hurtful, betraying things.

Those things.
Those very real, very icky things.

It’s is a nod to the vulnerability that the messiest of messes leave you feeling. Yeah.”I got this”.. when really. You just sorta do.

You recognize it.
Acknowledge it. Are aware of it. Of All the UN “ness” of it.

But,

You refuse to allow that “UN-ness” full access. Full access is shut down, and it’s not where we go when we’re “FINE”.

Instead, it’s a straightening of the will, a beckoning to the spirit, a resonating voice of power that keeps you from succumbing, and a conviction that you are stronger than you realize.

It’s a warrior thing.

It is.

It’s the brave pursuit, when the exhaustion has set in and the weariness is real.

It’s the heroic resolve to weather a storm and walk wounded.

It’s a neatly packaged story, full of very untidy pieces of ourselves that have been tumbled and turned and have been fired in the sacred furnace of “even if”.

It’s often a gaping and bleeding place, raw and seeping, but you can rest assured, no one will see through the perfect covering you’ve adorned.
It’s like an invisibility cloak, and the only ones who can even see the one you wear, are the others, who also, bravely wear one.

I see you my “fine” friend. Our “Un-fine- “ness” is bonding. My cloak has connected with yours and there is no need for conversation beyond that one word speaking volumes with no other uttered syllables…

“Fine.”

I get it.

And I just want you to know …
You’re in “good” company.
In fact, you’re in a safe place,
a sisterhood that embraces all the things NOT SAID with an understanding and compassion of a fellow soldier.

I’m blessed to be “un-fine” with you.

This “un fine” is not weakness… it’s tenacious, steady, determined and unmistakably powerful.

And friends,

I promise you…

When I see your cloak coming off in my presence,

I will always be authentic too.

I will always be present and feel with you, understanding even when I don’t exxxxaccctly understand… and I’ll make you know that you’re valued.
And I promise,
I will not rushed to leave your hurt. So many people do that, don’t they? It’s stripping and leaves me feeling unwanted and undervalued in soo many ways. I’ll make your hurt matter to me. Because it does. And hey… If I miss it? Because lets be real.. I can miss things sometimes…Let me know? K? I’ll humbly say sorry and rush back to help you heal.
But mostly.. I’ll try not to miss it. Promis.

I will be encouraging, not trying to “fix” anything or give you answers,until you want them or need them – but simply enter in to a posture that enlivens you, comforts you, supports you and empowers you, embraces all your “UN – ness” – because I have all those dwelling alcoves my “UN ness” likes to take up residence in too.

Above all…

I will be planted in Christ and help you remember that HE is where your roots are too.

We’re fine. REALLY.
We’re fine.
You know what I mean.
I know what you mean too.

So,
I see you “warrior”.
I hear the hurt.
I recognize the effort. Mannnn , it’s effort. I know.

And Sister…
Let me just say,
I’m proud of you.
I’m proud of you for taking those things you keep inside and let them not become the things that break you , even when they weary you.

Can we just make that “UN-fine” pact right now? The one that says even when our conversations want to halt and we put FINE at the end of them like a period…
even when we usher in all the feelings that feel like the beginning of nothing or
the start of no good thing…
that we at least agree with each other
that we can let each other in.
It can be quietly.
It can be just a toe in the crack of a doorway trying to slam shut… but let it be a toe.
At least.
Let’s keep each other “in”.

We need each other.
Warriors don’t fight alone- we fight side by side.
And if by some chance a sister does start to fade into the background, disappear from the front, get quiet in the fray… we go looking for her.
Let’s not let our fellow warriors go missing.
FINE doesn’t get to do that to us when we pay attention to one another. Keep you a few of those people , those sisters, who find you when you go missing… because those gals? They understand FINE too.

right?

RIGHT?

Let’s re-define FINE!
Let’s give it a medal. Let’s set it on a mantel. Let’s parade it down main street. Let’s not let it become lost in no man’s land of “UN- Fine.”
We earn this in hard ways.
Let’s decide it’s a badge of valor!

Unmask it. Wear it with courage. And #sisterfriend, help “her” wear hers too.

K?