I haven’t mentioned my “word of the year” yet.
I’ve been holding on to it.
Not sure why, except I just felt like God needed to show it to me more before I released it out into the world.
And did He ever!
I pondered many words. They were all good. All had meaning… but I landed pretty hard on two: “unashamed” and “freedom”.
Pondering them both, I took them to prayer. .
Me: “God, I want to live unashamed , of You, of me, of my walk, of my life, of my writing and my family and my health and .. alll . theeee. thingggggs.”
Whisper in my heart: “Sounds like Freedom.”
And that was that.
Word of the year: Freedom
Freedom from shame
Freedom in my voice, and in my writing
Freedom in my health
Maybe even a Freedom from my job
For sure, Freedom from Fear…
All these began to roll in my soul as real and tangible and able, and suddenly what was born, was a belief that somehow, 2020, was going to be like walking into my promised land. I can’t explain it. But I knew it. It was as if God Himself said,
“Kay, this ground you are standing on is Holy.
You’ve been through Egypt, and are no longer slave to that time.
You walked with me through the wilderness, not lost, but following Me,
getting it right somedays, and getting wrong other; but
all the while, learning and growing.
And now, We are crossing over “the Jordan” on dry land…
and Daughter, this ground, this promised land,
This is where I’ve been leading you – to bless you.
I’ve been preparing you for what I’ve prepared for you!
So take off your shoes. You’re standing on Holy Ground.
We’re walking into your promise!
There will still be enemies to fight and giants to face,
but “this land”, is flowing with milk and honey and it’s for you.”
OH MY Goshhhhh… Friends, I might sound like a lunatic, but I guess that’s the first part of my “freedom”… because I don’t care. LOL
The conversation in my heart around this “word of the year”, at the beginning of the year, was as real to me as typing the words into this computer screen right now.
He’s been preparing me for what He’s prepared for me and I’m telling you,
“FREEDOM” was not a word of coincidence.
All those things that have been piling up inside this body, inside this girl, forever… had a tight grip; but it was all just held tightly by a lie! The lie that it was always going to be this way; that broken was always broken and that I wasn’t going to ever be completely “free.”
Then, as only Jesus could do, He beckoned me to listen to the truth, this time, almost as a command and no longer an invitation…
“Kay! YOU ARE free. Walk in it. You don’t have to get free- You ARE. FREE.
The lie is a chain from which you can step out! I’ve made the way…”
It was going to be my word and I believed for it like I haven’t believed for something in a while…
I’m telling you , I KNEW this was my word.
The walls of my Jordan river parted and God Himself, was leading me across on dry land…” My promised land … His purpose for me… My longing… My dream… His Mission;
I felt it.
Free from the chains of the things that weighed me down;
Free from the chains of the lies I’d believed since I was a kid;
Free from the chains of shame and regret;
Free from worry and angst;
Free from a past that bound and gagged me;–
Free from health issues that distressed me and my good good body;
Freedom in finances;
Freedom in speech and writing and becoming who I’ve always dreamed of being:
AND Freedom from fearing so much … all. theeee. timeeeeeeee.
I felt the chains dropping with my decision to say, “yes… I’ll walk in my freedom, across dry land. You have my “yes” Lord… finally, completely, and it felt like a mini revival in my own being.
I knew what I wanted it to look like. I knew what I thought it was supposed to be. I believed for what I thought He had designed for me…yet I didn’t know what it all would entail to get there… and honest, was there even an actual “full” arrival this side of heaven?
I just knew it involved me ,
1) Saying “yes” and then
2) Taking that first step on the dry land, while God held back the River, and I looked at both those things in awe and worship.
Let me just stop here for a moment to ask you if you remember the Children of Israels story?
If you thought that coming out of Egypt was the biggest part of their freedom story, I might ask you to read Joshua 3-4. Here is where I get a glimpse of a freedom story that makes me have goosebumps. God led the way. As soon as the priests carrying the Ark, stepped into the flooded waters of the Jordan, the river stopped flowing and formed a great wall so the Children could cross over to their promised land …on dry ground.
Imagine it. Rolling river, flooded, wide and fierce, suddenly walled off and the river bottom DRY. God then told Joshua to have his men take up 12 stones, ones so big they’d carry them on their shoulders, and put them at their camp that night.
He said, “In the future when your children ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean? ‘ Tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan ( at flood stage) on dry ground… so that all might know that the hand of God is powerful.”
Friends. I gathered some “stones” … I’m setting them up in my camp… and they are going to tell the story of GOD setting me free!
I can’t wait to share them with you… I have several more blog posts coming, so staytuned.
I chose this word in January, and like I’ve said, I’ve been holding on to it for awhile now, and trusting Jesus with how it would manifest in my life this year in 2020…and also, when to release it to you…
Last week, Valentine’s week, Of course that’s how He’d rolll…He started mapping the promised land for me and I believe it’s time to share!
I picked up those “stones”… you know, the things that represent how BIG God is and how powerful He is moving…. and what that looks like in my own “personal” freedom, and I’m readying to share them with you!
I’m telling you … it’s no joke when you give Jesus your WHOLE yes, He swooops down with WHOLE ness!!! I can’t wait to tell you more!
Stone stacking in my camp
It’s so kind of a good goooood God to be my Deliverer, my Father, my Gentle Shepherd, my caring Counselor and the Orchestrator of this beautiful symphony I get to call my life…
Man. Who is this He is making me?
Freedom from SHAME is up first in my next blog, then
Freedom from FEAR, then
Freedom in Writing and Voice, then
Freedom in Health and Wholeness
I know more is coming. Stay-tuned for all the blogs. LOL
They are telling a story of how He is preparing me for
what He has prepared for me!
I hope this wasn’t confusing.
I know, it’s long. This whole “freedom story” is going to be long:
And I don’t know if I have all the words for it yet, because I know the stories are still coming…
know what He’s already doing, how He’s already making a way to freedom in so many ways in my life, and I’m just trying to set you up for them…
Truth is, I don’t know what it all looks like yet, but I do know,
I came out of the wilderness and I crossed over on dry land while walls of water helped form a deeper truth that this God, who knows the way, is going to be pretty audacious about it!
I picked up some big stones to bring back to “camp” to tell about His audaciousness
and that He is still on the move to show HOW POWERFUL He is, and how well He loves and maybe mostly right now, I’m undone by the gift… the knowledge… the crazy goodness and unspeakable “more” of… #whatdoesyourheartneedtohear?:
I am standing on Holy Ground.